“My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.”
- Chuck Nevitt
“My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she is coming with me.”
- Jon Bon Jovi
"A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first."
“If being awesome was a crime, I would be serving a life sentence.”
Anonymous
“A stupid man’s report of what a clever man says can never be accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.”
- Bertrand Russell
“If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?”
- Will Rogers
"The most hopelessly stupid man is he who is not aware that he is wise."
Anonymous
“I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.”
- Edith Sitwell
“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.”
- Jack Handey
“When a stupid man is doing something, he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.”
- George Bernard Shaw
"Don’t believe everything you think."
Anonymous
“To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.”
- Gustave Flaubert
“Every time I do something silly, it comes off really funny because it’s natural.”
- Shaquille O’Neal
“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
- George Benard Shaw
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”
- Alan Dundes
“The learned fool writes his nonsense in better language than the unlearned, but still ‘this nonsense.”
– Benjamin Franklin
“Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.”
– William Shakespeare
“My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.”
"If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times: Don’t exaggerate!"
Anonymous
“What is the only flaw of being intelligent?…that you have to deal with stupid people.”
Anonymous
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
- A. A. Milne
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