“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson