“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
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