The number of followers you have doesn't make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions, Jesus had 12. -- Anonymous
“A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk.”—Orlando Aloysius Battista
October, November, cool, cooold, cooooooldest, March, April.
“Went to Disneyland because my daughter’s obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.”
- Ryan Reynolds.
"Funny, I've met a lot of pin-up girls, but I've never been able to pin one down."
"Being a good husband is like being a standup comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner." — Jerry Seinfeld
“Grandmas don’t just say “that’s nice”—they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money’s worth out of grandmas.”—Unknown
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
“It snowed last year too: I made a snowman and my brother knocked it down and I knocked my brother down and then we had tea.”
– Dylan Thomas
“I’ve noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child is in, the parents who have older children always tell you the next stage is worse.”
- Dave Barry.
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Steve Martin
“A lot of parents pack up their troubles and send them off to summer camp.”
– Raymond Duncan
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”
Steven Wright
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.”
Ashleigh Brilliant
"She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon."
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
"A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm." – Bill Vaughan
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”
- Alan Dundes
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
“Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…somewhere else!”
“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics.” —Stephen Colbert
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
“I bought a new jacket for a hiking trip. It’s called a trail blazer.”
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
"It's funny when people think 'yoga people' are supposed to be calm. No. We're all here because we're nuts." — Unknown
“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
Theodore Roosevelt
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
“Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.”—Mickey Rooney
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
"Don’t forget to drink water and get some sun. You’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions."
“Oh yes I will work out today. I will work out a way to avoid running for a stupid cause.”
Stanley from The Office
“Behind every successful woman is a best friend giving her crazy ideas.”
— Unknown
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
"Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?"
“Sending your kids to summer camp teaches them important life lessons... like, ‘You can deal with your problems by sending them to summer camp.’”
- Ari Fishbein.
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
“Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keep friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.”
Greenville Kleisser
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
Go to BabaMail
