“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
"It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta."
— Dave Barry
“A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.” - Phyllis Diller
“Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings … and lawyers.”—Richard Pryor
"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
"Good things come slow. Especially in distance running."
Bill Dellinger
“There is no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.”
– John Ruskin
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
"Some children threaten to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going." – Phyllis Diller
“We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… after I finish laughing.”
— Unknown
“I only go to yoga to drink wine, so I’m good. I just throw the calories right back in.” – Kaley Cuoco
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
"Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages."
- H. L. Mencken
“Hope my relatives are getting along with the professional line sitter I hired to hold my place at the front of the Thanksgiving food line.” —John Lyon
“You are one yoga class away from a good mood.” – Unknown
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. -- Mahatma Ghandi
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Woddy Allen
Honolulu – it’s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother.
"I’m so cool I wasn’t actually born, I was defrosted."
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
A.A Milne
“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should just live next door and visit now and then.”—Katherine Hepburn
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
"How do you know if someone ran a marathon? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you."
Jimmy Fallon
"Scorpios are powerful creatures who demand equally potent cocktails."
— Aliza Kelly
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“My fashion philosophy is if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.”
- Elayne Boosler.
"A clever person takes notice of everything; a stupid one makes a comment about everything."
- Heinrich Heine
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
“Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.”
Doug Larson
“How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.”
“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.”
Oscar Wilde
"Instead of taking the pants off the taxpayer it might be better to take the vest off the vested interests."
— Mark Twain
“Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.”—Mickey Rooney
“In honor of Hanukkah falling on Thanksgiving, I am going to spend dinner feeling guilty about everything I have to be thankful for.” — Conan O’Brien
"You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale." — Hussein Nishah
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“If you fall, I’ll be there. Love, Your Mat” -Unknown
“Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.”
Abraham Lincoln
“Fine! You guys can all be beautiful snowflakes! I’m gonna go over here and be an awkward snowflake!”
― Robyn Schneider
"Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy."
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
“My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he’s 97 years old and we have no clue where he is.”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“There’s no such thing as ready. You just jump on a moving train and you try not to die.”
- A Dad, ‘What To Expect When You Are Expecting.’
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” – Jon Stewart
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
Go to BabaMail
