"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
"Run like there's a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you."
Unknown
“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.”
— Harvey Specter
“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”
— Oprah Winfrey
“Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see.”
"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well—almost.”—Charlotte Gray
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
"If the hill has its own name, then it's probably a pretty tough hill."
Marty Stern
"My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me." Garry Shandling
“I don’t know what’s tighter: our jeans or our friendship.”
— Unknown
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend 10 years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are.”
Damien Fahey
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.”
Bill Murray
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time... Husband!” —Bill Maher
“Bring a compass. It’s awkward when you have to eat your friends.”
"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
- Richard Jeni
“I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.”
Unknown
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
If there were no God, there would be no atheists. -- G. K. Chesterton
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank. -- Dante Rossetti
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“The household cat is really a tiger that has underwent three counselling programs.”
- Valeriu Butulescu.
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
- Fran Lebowitz
"I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough." — Russell Brand
“Every time you feel yourself being pulled into other people’s drama, repeat these word: Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
Polish Proverb
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome."
- Oscar Levant
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
– Charles Schulz
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby — awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess." — Lemony Snicket
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
"Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day and ends with cries of 'May Day!'?"
- Rob Knauerhase
“It’s like you trade the virility of the body for the agility of the spirit.” – Elizabeth Lesser
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Frank Sinatra
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
"Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it."
Anonymous
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.”—Ellen DeGeneres
“Fine! You guys can all be beautiful snowflakes! I’m gonna go over here and be an awkward snowflake!”
― Robyn Schneider
“Size isn’t everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.”
- Bill Vaughan.
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” – Jon Stewart
"If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again."
"If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, keep away from children." – Susan Savannah
Go to BabaMail
