“The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it.”
- Erma Bombeck.
“A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk.”—Orlando Aloysius Battista
" Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." — Henny Youngman
Claude Pepper
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
“Hiking is just walking where it’s okay to pee.” – Demetri Martin
“All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it.”
- Samuel Butler..
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” - Andy Rooney
“To hike is to complain.” – Dean Johnston
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and fertilize!”
— Anonymous
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”
Unknown
The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank. -- Dante Rossetti
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one!”
— C.S. Lewis
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
“I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.”
Unknown
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
"I am the friend you have to explain to your other friends before they meet me."
— Unknown
“Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all.”—John Grogan
“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.”
“No matter how smart you are, you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.”
Anonymous
"Parenting is basically just listening to yourself talk because nobody else is." - Unknown
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
“Why don’t kids understand their nap is not for them, but for us?”
- Alyson Hannigan.
"So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea." - King Jaffe Joffer, 'Coming to America'
"The first thing you learn in life is you’re a fool. The last thing you learn in life is you’re the same fool."
Anonymous
“The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”
- Lane Olinghouse.
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
The church is prayer-conditioned. -- Anonymous
"I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth."
Anonymous
“Parenting is a constant battle between going to bed to catch up on some sleep or staying awake to finally get some alone time.” — Anonymous
“They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.” — Alexander Pope
"Don't make love by the garden gate - love is blind, but the neighbours ain't." - Anonymous
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
Housework is for people who don’t know how to garden.”
— Anonymous
"There are two ways of waking up in the morning. One is to say, 'Good morning, God,' and the other is to say, 'Good God, morning'!"
– Fulton J. Sheen.
“Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.”
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic. -- Doris Egan
“One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.”
— Clifton Fadiman
"Husbands are like wine, they take a long time to mature." —Donatella in Letters to Juliet
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
"How do you compare apples and oranges?
By their nutritional value."
- Marshall Elizer
“Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.”
Doug Larson
“I can’t cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast.” —Charlie Brown
“The smallest snowstorm on record took place an hour ago in my back yard. It was approximately two flakes. I waited for more to fall, but that was it.”
― Richard Brautigan
"I love running cross country. On a track, I feel like a hamster."
Robin Williams
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
Go to BabaMail
