“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”
- Phyllis Diller.
“Excuse me while I have a Pisces moment.”
— Patricia Lantz
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank. -- Dante Rossetti
"I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty."
“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”—Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
"The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families."
— Jay McInerney
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“I just want to be friends. Plus a little extra. Also, I love you.” - Dwight Schrute, 'The Office'
“There’s no such thing as bad weather, just soft people.”
– Bill Bowerman
"If ignorance is bliss, there should be more happy people."
- Victor Cousin
When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.
Rita Rudner
"A Cancer's bed is their sanctuary. Therefore, if you can't find them, look under the down comforter."
— Unknown
“It’s Thanksgiving, and we should not want to be together, together!” —Rachel Green, Friends
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
“My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.” ~ Unknown
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
“Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.“
Bill Murray
“Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans. It is lovely to be silly at the right moment.”
- Horace
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.”
Oscar Wilde
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
"I don't remember, you looking any better... But then again, I don't remember you."
- John Mayer, 'Who Says'
“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.” —Rod Stewart
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me... they're cramming for their final exam. -- George Carlin
“There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.”
Henry Kissinger
“Arguing with a fool proves there are two.”
– Doris M. Smith
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
Some things have to be believed to be seen. -- Ralph Hodgson
“I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family.” —Damien Fahey
“A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution.”
- Hazel Nicholson.
“I’ve never met an animal I didn’t like, and I can’t say the same thing about people.”
- Doris Day.
“Having children is like living in a frat house — nobody sleeps, everything s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.”
- Ray Romano.
"The best part of waking up is still a mystery to me."
— Uknown
“Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit.”- Billy Connolly
"Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache."
- Mae West
“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.”
Mark Twain
“Always hike with someone in worse shape than you. The bears out there will know.”
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
“I married beneath me, all women do.”
—Nancy Astor
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
"Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed."
Charles Schulz
Go to BabaMail
