"If love is the answer, could you please re-phrase the question?"
- Lily Tomlin
“Perhaps one reason we are fascinated by cats is because such a small animal can contain so much independence, dignity, and freedom of spirit. Unlike the dog, the cat’s personality is never bet on a human’s. He demands acceptance on his own terms.”
- Lloyd Alexander.
“Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.”
— Greg Tamblyn
“I think being a good father is keeping the mother happy so she doesn’t drive the kids crazy.”
- James, ‘Look Who’s Talking.’
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
“Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.”
- P. J. O’Rourke
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
“Saw a chameleon today so I'm assuming it wasn't a very good one." - Unknown Author
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
"There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income."
— Will Rogers
“If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.”
- Mark Twain.
“Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: the mailman is not to be trusted.”—Sian Ford
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.”
“Monday should be optional.”
"I bought an ant farm. I don't know where I am going to get a tractor that small!"
- Steven Wright
“No matter how much time you spend reading books or following your intuition, you’re gonna screw it up. Fifty times. You can’t do parenting right.”
- Alan Arkin.
"A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows."
- Doug Larson
“No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.”
- Kin Hubbard.
"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." - Joel Plaskett
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
“Teach your kids to spend more time annoying each other so they have less time to spend annoying you.”—Unknown
"Ignorance is a form of environmental pollution."
Anonymous
"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast." - Anonymous
“Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.”
- Elbert Hubbard
“I love cleaning up messes I didn’t make. So I became a Mom.” – Unknown
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
"The difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion is the thickness of a prison wall."
– Denis Healey
"It is true that speed kills. In distance running, it kills anyone who does not have it."
Brooks Johnson
“Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’”
– Robin Williams
“I saw what’s going on under my chin. I don’t want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.” — Joan Rivers
“Yoga class? I thought you said ‘pour a glass’.” – Unknown
"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." - Truman Capote
“Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.”
— James Marsden
“Anyone who has time for drama is not gardening enough”
— Anonymous
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
“Have you ever noticed how parents can go from the most wonderful people in the world to totally embarrassing in three seconds?”—Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid
“A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.” - Jane Austen, 'Pride and Prejudice'
“Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”
Helen Rowland
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“They can't collect legal taxes from illegal money."
— Al Capone
“I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.”
- Walt Disney
“My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she is coming with me.”
- Jon Bon Jovi
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
Mark Twain
"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
Go to BabaMail
