When I count my blessings, I make sure to count you twice.
Because of my rights related to eminent domain, you have to compensate me for stealing my heart.
Can I take your temperature? You’re looking hot today.
I was going to call you beautiful, but then I realized I don’t have your number yet.
I'll love you until Tom catches Jerry and has him for supper.
What’s your go to order at a bar? Mine is A Big Ale
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
Girl, you are so fine, I had to upgrade my graphics card just to admire your pictures.
Man: Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
Woman: Nah, it was plain bad luck!
If I buy a soccer ball, will you kick it with me?
Are you a cigarette?
Because when I'm done with your butt I'm gonna throw it away.
Hey would you believe me if I said I was bitten by a crocodile?
I've been thinking about you owl night long...
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ivan.
Ivan who?
Ivan to do something naughty with you.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket?
Why, because you can see yourself in my pants?
No, because I wanted to check how I look before I hit on your hot friend.
What are your plans tonight? I’ll be free if you’re feeling a little Leo-nly…
"When I'm older looking back at all of my finest memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you."
Even Mozart couldn't make a composition as beautiful as you
Can you give me directions…to your heart?
Tricks aren’t really my thing. But you’re sure a treat.
Has anyone ever told you that your eyes are as clear as crystal? Because I can see straight into your soul.
Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling
How do I know many hundreds of digits of pi greek and not the 7 digits of your phone number?
You are my raisin to smile.
I like milk and cookies but I would rather have you.
I’ve always thought that heck is the only thing hotter than the sun but that has all changed today.
Excuse me, do you happen to have a Band-Aid? ‘Cause I scraped my knees falling for you.
If your heart was a prison, I would want to be sentenced to life.
Girl, I'm jealous of your shirt.
Because it's wrapped around you and I'm not.
The only thing sweeter than pumpkin pie is you, baby!
Let’s go to my place. I’d like to show you my puck collection.
You must sprinkle extra sugar in your cereal in the morning...
Why, because I'm so sweet?
No, because you're really fat.
Are you a star? Because you are twinkling at the party.
Would you mind loaning me a quarter? I want to call my mother and tell her I just met the woman of my dreams.
Hey cutie nice pants, got any room in there for me.
I'm cold just thinking about Canada. Let's cuddle.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Aldo.
Aldo who?
Aldo anything for you.
Do you have any Sriracha sauce? Cause you fire me up!
Are you fossil? Because I want to date you!
Are you a durian? Because you're a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.
Call me Kathleen Wynne ‘cause I’d spend all my money on you.
This coffee is too strong. How about a kiss because you are the only sugar I need.
Sir William Howe... are you doing?
Let's procreate like the snakes in the Narcisse Dens.
Do you run track? Because you are running laps around my heart.
Is your Wi-Fi on because I can feel a very strong connection with you?
I send the best morning texts. But you’d know that already if I had your number.
If I freeze, it's not a computer virus. I was just stunned by your beauty.
Can you do sign language?
I wish I knew how to sign because I don't think any spoken words can describe how beautiful you are.
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