"The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired." — Milton Berle
"Love is a two-way street constantly under construction."
- Carroll Bryant.
"If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools."
- Katherine Mansfield
"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry." — Rita Rudner
"Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses."
- Thomas Dewar
"Love thy neighbor, just watch out for thy husband." - Unknown
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." Charles M. Schulz, creator of Peanuts
"My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on." — Joan Rivers
"Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome."
- Oscar Levant
"Between men and women, there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship."
- Oscar Wilde
"Love thy neighbor—and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier." - Mae West
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." ― Sharon Stone
"Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight." – Phyllis Diller
“A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.” - Jane Austen, 'Pride and Prejudice'
"Between lovers, a little confession is a dangerous thing." — Helen Rowland
"Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest."
- Professor Irwin Corey
"True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen." — Francois de la Rochefoucauld
"The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman." — Samuel Taylor Coleridge
"So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea." - King Jaffe Joffer, 'Coming to America'
“I just want to be friends. Plus a little extra. Also, I love you.” - Dwight Schrute, 'The Office'
"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." — Albert Einstein
"If love is the answer, could you please re-phrase the question?"
- Lily Tomlin
"When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life."
- Richard Lewis
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