"If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion." - Ashleigh Brilliant
“My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.”—Spike Milligan
“I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.”—Fred Allen
“Teach your kids to spend more time annoying each other so they have less time to spend annoying you.”—Unknown
“Children really can brighten up a house, because they never turn the lights off.”
- Ralph Bus.
“What brothers say to tease their sisters has nothing to do with what they really think of them.”—Esther Friesner
“Respect your parents. These guys pay for your internet.”—Unknown
“One would be in less danger, from the wiles of the stranger, if one’s own kin and kith, were more fun to be with.”
- Ogden Nash
“The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it.”
- Erma Bombeck.
“You can kid the world, but not your sister.”—Charlotte Gray
“My dad used to say, ‘Always fight fire with fire.’ Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.”—Harry Hill
“Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or ex-wife, your ex’s new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate’s ex and any new mate that your new mate’s ex has acquired.”
- Delia Ephron
“Everyone knows that if you’ve got a brother, you’re going to fight.”—Liam Gallagher
“Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet.”—Gene Perret
“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”
- Rodney Dangerfield
“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”—Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
“It was nice growing up with someone like you—someone to lean on, someone to count on…someone to tell on!”—Unknown
“What strange creatures brothers are!”—Jane Austen
“Being part of a family means smiling for photos.” –Harry Morgan
"In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry.'" - Margaret Laurence
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”—Wayne Huizenga
“It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”—Betty White
“Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.”—Pam Brown
“Mother-daughter disagreements were, in hindsight, basically mother stating the truth and daughter taking her own sweet time coming around.”—Barbara Delinsky
“Grandmas don’t just say “that’s nice”—they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money’s worth out of grandmas.”—Unknown
“Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you can’t.”—Unknown
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”—George Burns
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
“Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.”—Lewis Mumford
“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”—Buddy Hackett
“The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”—George Carlin
“Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie, not perfect but who’s complaining?”
- Robert Brault.
“It’s especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.”—Sean Covey, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens
"The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended and not to take a hint when a hint isn’t intended.”
- Robert Fros
“Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”
- Cary Grant.
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”
- Wayne H
“Have you ever noticed how parents can go from the most wonderful people in the world to totally embarrassing in three seconds?”—Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid
“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.”
- Sam Levenson
“I think the family is the place where the most ridiculous and least respectable things in the world go on.”
- Ugo Betti
"Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet with a few nuts." - Unknown
“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”—Sam Levenson
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell“Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.”
- Gracie Allen
“The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.”
- Robert Brault
“Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.”
- Douglas Adams.
“If you don’t annoy your big sister for no good reason from time to time, she thinks you don’t love her anymore.”—Pearl Cleage
“In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this rule of thumb about happy families, that they are least two-thirds incontinent.”
- Robert Brault.
“The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.”
- Nancy Mitford
“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern…like bad wallpaper.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche.
"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold." - Ogden Nash
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”—George Bernard Shaw
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