“Never let an angry sister comb your hair.”
- Patricia McCann
“Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”
- Cary Grant.
“A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.”—Ogden Nash
“A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.”—Lois Wyse
"Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet with a few nuts." - Unknown
“The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”—George Carlin
"If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion." - Ashleigh Brilliant
“What strange creatures brothers are!”—Jane Austen
“My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.”—Spike Milligan
“Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.”
- Douglas Adams.
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell“Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.”
- Gracie Allen
“I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.”—Fred Allen
“In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat.”
- Anna Quindlen
“It was nice growing up with someone like you—someone to lean on, someone to count on…someone to tell on!”—Unknown
“There is no worse parent than an unhappy parent!”
― Rossana Condoleo
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”—Henny Youngman
“It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.”—Unknown
“Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or ex-wife, your ex’s new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate’s ex and any new mate that your new mate’s ex has acquired.”
- Delia Ephron
“Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.”
- Marcelina Hardy
“As I learned from growing up, you don’t mess with your grandmother.”—Prince William
“If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that “Members not Present” and “Subjects Discussed” were one and the same.”
- Robert Brault
"Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space." - Evan Esar
“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”
- Rodney Dangerfield
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”—Phyllis Diller
“Parents must get across the idea that “I love you always, but sometimes I do not love your behavior.”—Amy Vanderbilt
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Bernard Shaw
“Family is just accident...They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are.”
- Marsha Norman
“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”—Buddy Hackett
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
- Erma Bombeck
“The more you’re loving and understanding, the more your kids will sing.”
- Maxime Lagacé
“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”—Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
“Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.”—Pam Brown
“You can kid the world, but not your sister.”—Charlotte Gray
“Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie, not perfect but who’s complaining?”
- Robert Brault.
“Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.”
- Jerry Seinfeld
“Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.”
- Martin Mull.
“I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast?”
- Jeff Lindsay.
“Respect your parents. These guys pay for your internet.”—Unknown
“What brothers say to tease their sisters has nothing to do with what they really think of them.”—Esther Friesner
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
“Mother-daughter disagreements were, in hindsight, basically mother stating the truth and daughter taking her own sweet time coming around.”—Barbara Delinsky
“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.”
- Sam Levenson
“My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film.”
- Penelope Lombard.
“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern…like bad wallpaper.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche.
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”—George Bernard Shaw
“As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices take it or leave it.”
- Buddy Hacket
“I realized my family was funny because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.”
- Anthony Anderson
"The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended and not to take a hint when a hint isn’t intended.”
- Robert Fros
“My friends and family always thought I was pretty funny, but I don’t know if they thought I was get-my-own-show funny.”
- Nick Kroll
Go to BabaMail
