“The more you’re loving and understanding, the more your kids will sing.”
- Maxime Lagacé
"If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion." - Ashleigh Brilliant
“Everyone knows that if you’ve got a brother, you’re going to fight.”—Liam Gallagher
“It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”—Betty White
“When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.”
- Emo Phillips.
“Grandmas don’t just say “that’s nice”—they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money’s worth out of grandmas.”—Unknown
“From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.”
- Jarod Kintz
“Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.”—Chelsea Handler
“A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.”—Ogden Nash
“One would be in less danger, from the wiles of the stranger, if one’s own kin and kith, were more fun to be with.”
- Ogden Nash
“If you don’t annoy your big sister for no good reason from time to time, she thinks you don’t love her anymore.”—Pearl Cleage
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
“It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.”—Unknown
“The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”—George Carlin
“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.”
- Sam Levenson
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
“There is no worse parent than an unhappy parent!”
― Rossana Condoleo
“In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this rule of thumb about happy families, that they are least two-thirds incontinent.”
- Robert Brault.
“The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.”
- Robert Brault
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.”—Ellen DeGeneres
"Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet with a few nuts." - Unknown
“Teach your kids to spend more time annoying each other so they have less time to spend annoying you.”—Unknown
“Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.”—Lewis Mumford
“Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.”—Pam Brown
“It was nice growing up with someone like you—someone to lean on, someone to count on…someone to tell on!”—Unknown
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Bernard Shaw
“Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you can’t.”—Unknown
“Mother-daughter disagreements were, in hindsight, basically mother stating the truth and daughter taking her own sweet time coming around.”—Barbara Delinsky
“Older siblings: the only people who will pick on you for their own entertainment and beat up anyone else who tries.”—Unknown
“Never let an angry sister comb your hair.”
- Patricia McCann
“Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.”
- Marcelina Hardy
“If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that “Members not Present” and “Subjects Discussed” were one and the same.”
- Robert Brault
“I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.”—Fred Allen
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
- Erma Bombeck
“Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.”
- Douglas Adams.
“Respect your parents. These guys pay for your internet.”—Unknown
“In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat.”
- Anna Quindlen
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell“Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.”
- Gracie Allen
“What strange creatures brothers are!”—Jane Austen
"The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended and not to take a hint when a hint isn’t intended.”
- Robert Fros
“I think a dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.”
- Mary Karr
“Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”
- Cary Grant.
“Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.”
- Jerry Seinfeld
“Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.”
- Earl Wilson.
“Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or ex-wife, your ex’s new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate’s ex and any new mate that your new mate’s ex has acquired.”
- Delia Ephron
“Have you ever noticed how parents can go from the most wonderful people in the world to totally embarrassing in three seconds?”—Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid
“Every family is dysfunctional, whether you want to admit it or not.”
- Shailene Woodley.
“The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it.”
- Erma Bombeck.
“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”—Sam Levenson
“My dad used to say, ‘Always fight fire with fire.’ Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.”—Harry Hill