"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
"Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." - John Wagner
“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben
"Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs." - Charles Dickens
"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. - Mark Twain
"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
"It is better to wear out than to rust out." - Bishop Richard Cumberland
"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino
"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." - Anonymous
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." – Bob Hope
"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller
"I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you." – Andy Ronney
"Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns
"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker
"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’" - Claude Pepper
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown
"One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young." – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen
""Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." - Larry Lorenzoni
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
"Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too." – Lionel Kauffman
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
“When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day.” – Marty Buccella
"Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional" - Chili Davis
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzon
“It’s like you trade the virility of the body for the agility of the spirit.” – Elizabeth Lesser
"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins
Go to BabaMail
