"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
"Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs." - Charles Dickens
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
"The idea is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns
"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast." - Anonymous
“The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary on it.” – Arthur Schopenhauer
"I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often… but I’m well preserved." - Rose Kennedy
"Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." - Oscar Wilde
"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself." - Anonymous
"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’" - Claude Pepper
"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns
"If you want to know how old a woman is then ask her sister-in-law." - Edgar Howe
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
"There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it." - Patrick Moore
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." - John Mendoza
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
“You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.” —Billy Arthur
"Today, you’re 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!" - Dave Barry"
"When you’re older, Friday means less parking spots." - Larry David
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” —George Burns
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will Rogers
"Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller
"Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too." – Lionel Kauffman
"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer
""Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." - Larry Lorenzoni
"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci
"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." - Unknown
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
"Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben
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