“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown