“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
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