“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown