“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
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