“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown