“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
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