"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
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