"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
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