Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
You looked better when I was drunk.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
I really like you. So does my wife.
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
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