"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
"My cat doesn't like you."
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
You look like my future ex wife.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
We're donion rings.
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Go to BabaMail
