How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Why can’t you screw with whales?
because they hump back.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.
It was very carefully orca-strated.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.