Why can’t you screw with whales?
because they hump back.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.
It was very carefully orca-strated.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.