I told my husband that the National Zoo's sloth bear gave birth but ate two of the three babies. He said "now she's guilty of 2 deadly sins: sloth and gluttony."
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
A sloth walks in to a bar and waves to get the bartender’s attention, and says I’ll have...... a soda water.
The bartender replies “why the long paws?”
My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious.
He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle? A slow-off (show off).
What do sloths make when it snows? Slow Angels.
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a sloth? A slow leopard.
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band? Slow Patrol.
When does a sloth go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.