What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
Did you hear about the owl party?
It was a hoot.
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
Did you hear the gossip about the owl who hooked up with his boss?
I won’t tell you hoo.
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.
What do you call an owl with a deep voice?
A growl.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.