Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
In the clawset!
I met this really beautiful crustacean, but I lobst her number.
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
My lobster's name is:
Claude
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
They’re so shellfish.
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
Just had Lobster Bisque for the first time!
It was souper good!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?
Ones a crustaecian and the other is a crushed Asian.
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
What do you call a lobster with a Christmas hat?
Santa Claws
Why do people like working at the Red Lobster?
It helps them get out of their shell.
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
What’s the difference between a greyhound station and a lobster with a boob job?
One’s a crusty bus-station, the other’s a busty crustacean.
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
How does a lobster answer the phone?
"Shello?"
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
here do lobsters go to borrow money? The prawn broker.