Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
I once had a conversation with a dolphin.
We just clicked.
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
Why don’t dolphin do well on school tests?
Because they work below C-Level!
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.
Why did the scientist use a drink container to communicate with dolphins?
Because a bottle knows dolphin.
What did the mommy dolphin do when her son was an hour late for dinner?
She flipped out!
What’s a dolphin’s favorite constellation?
The Big Dipper!
What did the dolphin say when it broke its neighbor’s window?
It wasn’t on porpoise!
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
What separates humans from dolphins?
The surface of the water.
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
What did the dolphin say to its friend who wouldn’t stop lying?
Stop spouting nonsense!
My wife: Did you know a single dolphin can have more than 200 offspring?
Me: Wow How about the married ones?
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
Before training its killer dolphins, Iran had to convert them to fishlam.
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?