“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."