“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”