“I figured out why Uncle Sam wears such a tall hat. It comes in handy when he passes it around.”
— Soupy Sales
"There can be no taxation without misrepresentation."
— J.B. Handelsman
“The tax collector must love poor people, he’s creating so many of them.”
– Bill Vaughan
"Instead of taking the pants off the taxpayer it might be better to take the vest off the vested interests."
— Mark Twain
[on filing for tax returns] "This is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher."
- Albert Einstein
“Intaxication: That nice feeling you get when you receive a tax refund until you realize it was your own money in the first place.”
“If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.”
– Farmer’s Almanac
“The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It’s difficult to tell.”
— Craig Ferguson
"It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta."
— Dave Barry
"The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."
- Will Rogers
"It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for."
- Will Rogers
“Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.”
— Evan Esar
"Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day and ends with cries of 'May Day!'?"
- Rob Knauerhase
"The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin."
- Mark Twain
“On my income tax 1040 it says “Check this box if you are blind.” I wanted to put a check-mark about three inches away.”
– Tom Lehrer