Dreams

“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.”
Mitch Hedberg
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
Hey, I found you! You are the girl of my dreams.
Hey, do you still remember me? Oh, that’s right. We only met in my dreams.
You: Can I borrow a quarter?
She: why? (if she says sure or something else get her to ask you why).
You: so I can call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? So he could have sweet dreams. What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
As I lay cozy, all snug in my bed,
I enjoy the imagination inside my head
Until I hear racket beside my bed.
It's my 5:00 alarm!

I quickly silent you, you annoying alarm.
Then we SNOOZE together and let dreams carry on.
Enjoying the peace, then I'll be darned;
It's my 5:15 reminder!

Now I hush the ringing of my reminder.
Ok Alarm, let's put that behind us.
Eyes just shut, but here goes that timer
It's 7:20. I'm late!!!

(By Demecia Dean)
Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
Why did the blonde put sugar on her bed? Because she wanted sweet dreams!
The Valentine's Day Gift
The Valentine's Day Gift It was a few days before Valentine's Day and a young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day! What do you think it means?" Her husband smiled. "Oh, I have a feeling you'll know later tonight." he said with a wink. His wife squealed with joy. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it... only to find a book titled "The meaning of dreams."
The Mayor's Nightly Visit
The Mayor's Nightly Visit A new mayor of Chicago is chosen. That night, Franklin Delano Roosevelt appears. The mayor asks him "What can I do to make Chicago even greater?". FDR responds: "Do everything for the people". The mayor wakes up startled, and mutters "Lies!" under his breath. The next night, George Washington appears in the dreams of the mayor. He asks "What can I do to make Chicago even greater?", to which GW responds "Never tell a lie". The mayor wakes up startled, and curses under his breath. "That's not possible!" The next night, Abraham Lincoln appears in the mayor's dreams. The mayor asks "What can I do to make Chicago even greater?" Abraham looks at the mayor, scratches his beard, and takes a while to answer. "Visit a theater."
I accidentally went to bed with my contact lenses in the other night.
My dreams have never been clearer.
I'm no Joseph. Perhaps you can help me interpreting the dreams I've been having about you?