Man: "Wow, you're tall! How's the weather up there?"
Woman: "It's raining." and pour a glass on him.
Man: Did you fall from heaven?
Woman: No, but I'm an Angel and died fifteen years ago... just like that pick up line.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Boy: You know quickie has u And i together.
Girl: Too bad ugly starts with a u.
Guy: "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
Girl: "No, but I did scrape my knees a couple times crawling up from hell."
Man: If your left leg was breakfast and your right leg was lunch, I wouldn't be able to resist snacking between meals.
Woman: If your left leg was yoga and your right leg was cycling, I wouldn't be able to resist kickboxing between classes.
Man: I'd go to the ends of the world for you!
Woman: Okay, but would you stay there?
Man: What are you looking at?
Woman: Somethin ugly!
Man: Any Generic Pick Up Line
Woman: "I like your approach, now let's see your departure."
Man: Are those space pants.
Woman: No!, They're softball pants because my ass is out of your league.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: Do you work at the Bakery, cause you have a nice set of buns.
Woman: Do you work at a Grocery store? Then why are you checking me out?
Man: Baby, your body is a wonderland!
Woman: That's funny, because yours is a wasteland!
Man: What do math and my dick have in common? They're both hard for you
Woman: You must be a math problem because you're annoying and difficult. I don't wanna solve your problems for you.
Man: "If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together."
Woman: "They got it right the first time with the N and O."
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
John, look me in the eyes. All of my life I needed a strong, good looking, confident man and you
are the one who can help me find someone like that.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I’d rather be dead
Than stuck with you!
Man: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
Woman: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK
Woman: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you before GLY
Man: "Voulez-vous vous coucher avec moi ce soir?" (Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?)
Woman: "Je voudrais bien, mais je n'ai rien a porter." (I would love to, but I have nothing to wear.)
Man: Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Woman: No thanks, I don't like small talk.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."
Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Woman: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
Man: Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
Woman: Do you know what'd look good on you? Nothing.
Man: I've lost my phone number can I have yours?
Woman: Sure, my number is 911-8473 (works better if you write it down)
Man: "Hey, baby, if you come home with me, I can show you a really good time."
Woman: "You know what your problem is? Your mouth is writing checks that your body can't cash."
Man: Your face must turn a few heads!
Woman: And your face must turn a few stomachs!
Man: I can make your bed rock
Woman: No you can't I have a Tempurpedic.
Man: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
Woman: Maybe once. I never make the same mistake twice!
Man: Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
Woman: Nah, it was plain bad luck!
Old Man: "Where have you been all my life?"
Woman: "For the first half of it, I wasn't even born yet."
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