“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
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