“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
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