“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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