“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow