“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
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