“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
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