“A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” - Tim Allen
“When it snows you have two choices. Shovel or snow angels.”
“All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.” — Red Skelton
"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
"When I tell my kids I'll do something in a minute, what I'm really saying is "Please forget." - @SarcasticMommy4
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.”
— Zig Ziglar
“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”—Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
“When I say I won’t tell anyone, my best friend doesn’t count.”
— Unknown
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
“I smiled right after getting up. I think I dislocated my face. Good Morning!”
– Unknown
I’m sure wherever my dad is he’s looking down on us… he’s not dead… just very condescending.
Jack Whitehall
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
"Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed."
Charles Schulz
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
"I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."
Anonymous