"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
“It’s the 21st century. I don’t need an alpha male to protect me. I don’t need a big, strong man to fight off a tiger. I need a geek who can get my naked photos off the cloud.” — Whitney Cummings
“Mother-daughter disagreements were, in hindsight, basically mother stating the truth and daughter taking her own sweet time coming around.”—Barbara Delinsky
“I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.”
Zach Galifianakis
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
“I don’t need the facts. I’m a Pisces.”
— Phil Volatile
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
“Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.”
- P. J. O’Rourke
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
“Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.”
George Carlin
“There’s no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat.”
- Wesley Bates.
“The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.”
Demetri Martin
“Marathoners: Life is too easy. I must find a way to make it much much harder.”
-Glennon Doyle, best-selling author
“I’m a typical Capricorn. I’m hardworking, loyal, sometimes stubborn, and I don’t believe in astrology.”
— Jonah Peretti
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault
Did anybody ever consider that cannibalism would resolve both overpopulation – and world hunger?
“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell — you see, I have friends in both places."
— Mark Twain
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
"It's rude to count people as you pass them. Out loud."
From an Adidas ad
“Nothing burns like the cold.” — George R.R. Martin
"Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child: “No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
“Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.”
- Mary Bly.
“Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.” —Paula Poundstone
“Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.”
-Russell Baker
“I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said, ‘Not yet, but we placed an ad.’”
- Dana Snow.
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
“Having kids makes you look stable to the people who thought you were crazy and crazy to the people who thought you were stable.” – Kelly Oxford
“An addiction to gardening is not all bad when you consider all the other choices in life.”
— Cora Lea Bell
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." — Albert Einstein
“To hike is to complain.” – Dean Johnston
“I remember when yoga was called Twister.” – Unknown
“My friends and family always thought I was pretty funny, but I don’t know if they thought I was get-my-own-show funny.”
- Nick Kroll
“If you start drinking now, Thanksgiving could be a lot of fun.” — Conan O’Brien
“‘Snow in April is abominable,’ said Anne. ‘Like a slap in the face when you expected a kiss.’” — L.M. Montgomery
“When it snows you have two choices. Shovel or snow angels.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”
- Charles De Gaulle.
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”—Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
“Sunshine and happiness go together like fish and chips!”
― Catherine Pulsifer
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
“It’s just the most amazing thing to love a dog, isn’t it? It makes our relationships with people seem as boring as a bowl of oatmeal.”—John Grogan
"I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth." — Chico Marx
“There is no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.”
– John Ruskin
“Gardeners know the best dirt.”
— Anonymous
Go to BabaMail
