“Winter is nature’s way of saying, ‘Up yours.’”
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as ‘psychopaths’, and then the rest of us.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
“Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability.”
– Sam Keen
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“May your stuffing be tasty. May your turkey be plump. May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize, and may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs!” —Anonymous
“Having kids makes you look stable to the people who thought you were crazy and crazy to the people who thought you were stable.” – Kelly Oxford
"Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages."
- H. L. Mencken
“It's easy to find out who is going to become a tax collector. In the nursery, give all the kids lemons. The one who squeezes it dry is going to work for the IRS.”
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.”
- Albert Einstein
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” - Groucho Marx
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Frank Sinatra
“Winter is not a season, it’s an occupation.” — Sinclair Lewis
“A new survey found that 80 percent of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense when you hear them consider saying ‘that smells good’ to be helping.” —Jimmy Fallon
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
"A Scorpio will carry his grudge into the afterlife if necessary to get his revenge."
— Everett A. Blackman
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
“Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what’s more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?”—Dennis Miller
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.”
Ashleigh Brilliant
"People who wonder if the glass is half full or half empty miss the point. The glass is refillable."
"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy but the Bible says to love your enemy."
- Frank Sinatra
“Summer vacation: where you drink triple, see double and act single.”
“The fastest land mammal is a toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.” – @ramblinma
“Parenthood…it’s about guiding the next generation and forgiving the last.”
- Peter Krause.
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“If you fall, I’ll be there. Love, Your Mat” -Unknown
“A yawn is a silent scream for coffee…”
– Unknown
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“We’ve been friends for so long, I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.”
— Unknown
"There can be no taxation without misrepresentation."
— J.B. Handelsman
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'”—Jim Gaffigan
“During summer vacation, you get to do all your favorite things; cook hot dogs over a campfire (while being eaten alive by mosquitoes).”
– Bruce Lansky
Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.
Bill Vaughan
“Arguing with a fool proves there are two.”
– Doris M. Smith
"Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run."
Jumbo Elliot
"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth." - Conan O’Brien
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
Go to BabaMail
