“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
"Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet."
Unknown
"My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me." Garry Shandling
“Yoga is almost like music in a way; there’s no end to it.” — Sting
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“I don’t know what’s tighter: our jeans or our friendship.”
— Unknown
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”
— Oprah Winfrey
"Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks."
- Bauvard
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
“I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.”
— Unknown
“I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said, ‘Not yet, but we placed an ad.’”
- Dana Snow.
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
— Anonymous
“Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.”
Abraham Lincoln
"I intend to live forever, or die trying."
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
"Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." - Oscar Wilde
"I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I’ve done my job." – Roseanne Barr
“If I'm ever being chased by a giraffe I'm gonna run into a place with low ceiling fans. Sorry, giraffe, but I gotta do what's best for me."
- Amber Tozer
“The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.”
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
Erma Bombeck
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’”
Steven Wright
“The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.”
Anonymous
“You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own.”
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.”—Fred Allen
"Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all." — David Lynch
“A new survey found that 80 percent of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense when you hear them consider saying ‘that smells good’ to be helping.” —Jimmy Fallon
"If you start to feel good during an ultra, don't worry, you will get over it."
Gene Thibeault
“My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film.”
- Penelope Lombard.
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” —Kevin James
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
“People teach their dog to sit; it’s a trick. I’ve been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.”—Mitch Hedberg
"Yesterday I read the horoscope and it was written:" Born of Gemini will be happy in 2018. "I was very sad that I didn't have a twin."
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"There are many challenges to long distance running, but one of the greatest is the question of where to put one’s house keys."
Gabrielle Zevin
"You know, gentlemen, that I do not owe any personal income tax. But nevertheless, I send a small check, now and then, to the Internal Revenue Service out of the kindness of my heart."
— David Rockefeller
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
"Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park." - Anonymous
“Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.”—Elbert Hubbard
"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
Go to BabaMail
