“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
"Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it." ~ William Somerset Maugham
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache” – Mae West
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams