“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache” – Mae West
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
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