“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker