"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache” – Mae West
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
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