“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers