“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
"Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it." ~ William Somerset Maugham
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss