“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache” – Mae West
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
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