"Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass." - Mac MacGuff in Juno
“If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman: she will be all ears.” - Sigmund Freud
“Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.”—George Bernard Shaw
“You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time... Husband!” —Bill Maher
“Love is a lot like a backache; it doesn’t show up on X-Rays, but you know it’s there.” - George Burns
"Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended." - Zsa Zsa Gabor
“Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.” —Stephen Leacock
“Why do married people live longer than single people? I think it’s because married people make a special effort to live longer than their partner—just so they can have the last word.”—Janet Periat
"A good marriage is where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal." - Anonymous
“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?”—Groucho Marx
“The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.’”—Anonymous
“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.” — Ambrose Bierce
“If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.” — Sam Levenson
"Everyone is born equal in life, until they get married." — Anonymous
“What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” - Cindy Garner
"Because I always say, if you're married for 50 years, and 10 of them are horrible, you're doing really good!" —Michelle Obama
"A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." — Andre Maurois
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”—Rita Rudner
“I’d like to publicly thank my husband [Dax Shepard] for changing half the diapers in our house. I hope he changes all of mine one day…”—Kristen Bell
“Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you’ll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.”
— Neil Simon
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” - Groucho Marx
“If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.” —Aldo Cammarota
"I love my husband, but no matter where we are, I make him sleep closest to the door so if anything happens, he gets murdered first." — Jessica Valenti
“Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.” —H. Jackson Brown, Jr
“All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” — Raymond Hull
“When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.” - Molly McGee
“My wife is a psychologist… Not only does she know when I’m being a jerk, but she knows exactly what type of jerk I’m being.”—Lee Judge
“My husband and I have never considered divorce… murder sometimes, but never divorce.”—Dr. Joyce Brothers
Go to BabaMail
