“I married for love but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored.”—Cameron Esposito
“Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun.”—Stephanie Ortiz
“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should just live next door and visit now and then.”—Katherine Hepburn
“We were married for better or worse. I couldn’t have done better and she couldn’t have done worse.” —Henry Youngman
“Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were on your own.”—Eddie Cantor
"Before we got married I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets." - Joginder Singh
"Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass." - Mac MacGuff in Juno
“You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time... Husband!” —Bill Maher
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell
"Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun." —Stephanie Ortiz
“Some mornings I wake up grouchy. Other mornings I just let him sleep.”—Unknown
“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.” —Rod Stewart
“An archeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”—Agatha Christie.
“All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” — Raymond Hull
“If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.” - Miles Davis
“She is the only evidence of God I have seen, with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.”- St Elmo's Fire
“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.” - Lily Tomlin
“Marriage is a difficult project. When seven years have passed and all your body’s cells have been replaced, you’re meant to experience that seven-year itch.”
—Yoko Ono
“I’d like to publicly thank my husband [Dax Shepard] for changing half the diapers in our house. I hope he changes all of mine one day…”—Kristen Bell
"The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him." — Oscar Wilde
"Because I always say, if you're married for 50 years, and 10 of them are horrible, you're doing really good!" —Michelle Obama
“Marriage: sometimes soulmates, sometimes cellmates.”—Rory Elder
“Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what’s more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?”—Dennis Miller
“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.”—Lily Tomlin
“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” —Anne Bancroft
“In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.” —Helen Rowland
“Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.”—George Bernard Shaw
“Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.”—Mae West
“Husbands and wives are irritating. But without them, who would we blame for misplacing our socks?”—Janet Periat
“Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” - Phyllis Diller
“I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.”—Wendy Liebman
“In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.” - Rita Rudner
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” - Groucho Marx
“Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.” — Isadora Duncan
“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now change your Facebook status.”—Anonymous
“If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.” —Aldo Cammarota
“My wife is a psychologist… Not only does she know when I’m being a jerk, but she knows exactly what type of jerk I’m being.”—Lee Judge
“One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. When he enters my bathroom sometimes, I’m like, ‘Why are you in here?’ And he’s like, ‘I live here. Can I enjoy my bathroom too?’”—Michelle Obama
“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”—Benjamin Franklin
“When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.”—Richard Lewis
“Love is a lot like a backache; it doesn’t show up on X-Rays, but you know it’s there.” - George Burns
"Husbands are like wine, they take a long time to mature." —Donatella in Letters to Juliet
“Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.”—Elbert Hubbard
“Marriage is work. Marriage is a career. It's not an adventure, you do more before five than most folks do all day.”— Sinbad
"Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park." - Anonymous
“Never criticize your spouse’s faults; if it weren’t for them, your mate might have found someone better than you.” —Jay Trachman
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” —Henny Youngman
“Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” - Natasha Leggero
“All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.” — Red Skelton
“Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.” - Joseph Barth
Go to BabaMail
