“If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.” — Sam Levenson
“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.”—Lily Tomlin
“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?”—Jean Illsley Clarke
"A good marriage is where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal." - Anonymous
"I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?" - Jean Illsely Clarke
“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” —Phyllis Diller
“Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.”—Joyce Brothers
“My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” —Socrates
“Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.” —Stephen Leacock
“When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.”—Richard Lewis
"Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed." — Albert Einstein
“In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.” —Helen Rowland
“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.” - Lily Tomlin
“Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” - Phyllis Diller
"The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him." — Oscar Wilde
“Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.” —Zig Ziglar
“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”—Benjamin Franklin
“All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” — Raymond Hull
“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” —Anne Bancroft
"Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning." — Clint Eastwood,
“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.” — Rodney Dangerfield
"Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them." - Anonymous
"Everyone is born equal in life, until they get married." — Anonymous
“Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you’ll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.”
— Neil Simon
" Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." — Henny Youngman
“I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.” - Wendy Liebman
"I love my husband, but no matter where we are, I make him sleep closest to the door so if anything happens, he gets murdered first." — Jessica Valenti
“A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” - Tim Allen
“To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.”—Ogden Nash.
"Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one." — Mae West
“Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what’s more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?”—Dennis Miller
“I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed, too—for being married so many times.” —Elizabeth Taylor
“Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.” — Rita Rudner
“Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.” — Isadora Duncan
“Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.”—Elbert Hubbard
“Just found out the wife is writing a book about our honeymoon, called ’50 Shades of Just O.K.’”—Conan O’Brien
“Before I got married, I had six theories about raising children; now I have six children and no theories.”—John Wilmot
“I married for love but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored.”—Cameron Esposito
“What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” - Cindy Garner
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell
“My husband and I have never considered divorce… murder sometimes, but never divorce.”—Dr. Joyce Brothers
“A good friend just told me that the key to a successful marriage was to argue naked! I’m gonna do that from now on, when that rarely happens.”
— LeAnn Rimes
“If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.” —Aldo Cammarota
“I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.”—Wendy Liebman
"Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun." —Stephanie Ortiz
"Because I always say, if you're married for 50 years, and 10 of them are horrible, you're doing really good!" —Michelle Obama
“Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” - Natasha Leggero
“Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.”—Kathy Mohnke
"My wife had us register for fine china, because you never know when the Pope is going to swing by and want a microwaved hot dog on a $200 plate." — Jim Gaffigan
“Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” - Jenny Seinfeld
Go to BabaMail
