“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?”—Jean Illsley Clarke
“If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.” —Aldo Cammarota
“If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.” — Sam Levenson
“All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.” — Red Skelton
“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”—Benjamin Franklin
“The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.’”—Anonymous
“What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” - Cindy Garner
“Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house.” —Jean Kerr
“Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.”—George Bernard Shaw
“All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” — Raymond Hull
“Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.”—Ogden Nash
“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.” — Rodney Dangerfield
"A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." — Andre Maurois
“Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.” — Isadora Duncan
“We were married for better or worse. I couldn’t have done better and she couldn’t have done worse.” —Henry Youngman
"Don't make love by the garden gate - love is blind, but the neighbours ain't." - Anonymous
"For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end." — Catherine Zeta-Jones
"I love my husband, but no matter where we are, I make him sleep closest to the door so if anything happens, he gets murdered first." — Jessica Valenti
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell
“When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.” - Molly McGee
“Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.” —H. Jackson Brown, Jr
“Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were on your own.”—Eddie Cantor
“One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. When he enters my bathroom sometimes, I’m like, ‘Why are you in here?’ And he’s like, ‘I live here. Can I enjoy my bathroom too?’”—Michelle Obama
“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” —Phyllis Diller
“Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun.”—Stephanie Ortiz
“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.”—Lily Tomlin
“A good friend just told me that the key to a successful marriage was to argue naked! I’m gonna do that from now on, when that rarely happens.”
— LeAnn Rimes
“Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.” - Joseph Barth
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” —Henny Youngman
“Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” - Phyllis Diller
“The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.” —Rick Reilly
“Love is a lot like a backache; it doesn’t show up on X-Rays, but you know it’s there.” - George Burns
"A good marriage is where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal." - Anonymous
“I married beneath me, all women do.”
—Nancy Astor
“She is the only evidence of God I have seen, with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.”- St Elmo's Fire
“You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time... Husband!” —Bill Maher
“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?”—Groucho Marx
"The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him." — Oscar Wilde
“Marriage: sometimes soulmates, sometimes cellmates.”—Rory Elder
“Marriage is work. Marriage is a career. It's not an adventure, you do more before five than most folks do all day.”— Sinbad
“Only married people can understand how you can be miserable and happy at the same time." —Chris Rock
"Before we got married I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets." - Joginder Singh
“Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.”—Mickey Rooney
“Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.”—Elbert Hubbard
“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” —Erma Bombeck
“Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.” —Zig Ziglar
"Being a good husband is like being a standup comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner." — Jerry Seinfeld
“In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.” —Helen Rowland
"Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun." —Stephanie Ortiz
“Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.”—Joyce Brothers
Go to BabaMail
