“Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.” —H. Jackson Brown, Jr
“Marriage is work. Marriage is a career. It's not an adventure, you do more before five than most folks do all day.”— Sinbad
“My wife dresses to kill, she cooks the same way.” - Henry Youngman
"Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended." - Zsa Zsa Gabor
“I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.”—Wendy Liebman
" Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." — Henny Youngman
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell
“Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.” — Isadora Duncan
“My husband and I have never considered divorce… murder sometimes, but never divorce.”—Dr. Joyce Brothers
“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now change your Facebook status.”—Anonymous
“When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.”—Richard Lewis
"For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end." — Catherine Zeta-Jones
“Love is a lot like a backache; it doesn’t show up on X-Rays, but you know it’s there.” - George Burns
“Never criticize your spouse’s faults; if it weren’t for them, your mate might have found someone better than you.” —Jay Trachman
"A good marriage is where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal." - Anonymous
“Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.” —Stephen Leacock
“I’d like to publicly thank my husband [Dax Shepard] for changing half the diapers in our house. I hope he changes all of mine one day…”—Kristen Bell
“If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman: she will be all ears.” - Sigmund Freud
“In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.” —Helen Rowland
"Husbands are like wine, they take a long time to mature." —Donatella in Letters to Juliet
“An archeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”—Agatha Christie.
“Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.” — Marilyn Monroe
“I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.” - Wendy Liebman
“Before I got married, I had six theories about raising children; now I have six children and no theories.”—John Wilmot
"In every good marriage, it pays sometimes to be a little deaf." — Ruth Bader Ginsburg
“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” —Phyllis Diller
“Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you’ll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.”
— Neil Simon
“Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” - Jenny Seinfeld
“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.” — Rodney Dangerfield
“Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were on your own.”—Eddie Cantor
“Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.” — Rita Rudner
“Why do married people live longer than single people? I think it’s because married people make a special effort to live longer than their partner—just so they can have the last word.”—Janet Periat
"Don't make love by the garden gate - love is blind, but the neighbours ain't." - Anonymous
“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.” - Lily Tomlin
"Being a good husband is like being a standup comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner." — Jerry Seinfeld
"I love my husband, but no matter where we are, I make him sleep closest to the door so if anything happens, he gets murdered first." — Jessica Valenti
“Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.”—Kathy Mohnke
“A good friend just told me that the key to a successful marriage was to argue naked! I’m gonna do that from now on, when that rarely happens.”
— LeAnn Rimes
“I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed, too—for being married so many times.” —Elizabeth Taylor
“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?”—Jean Illsley Clarke
“The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.” —Rick Reilly
"Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them." - Anonymous
“Some mornings I wake up grouchy. Other mornings I just let him sleep.”—Unknown
“Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit.”- Billy Connolly
“Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.” - Joseph Barth
“Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” - Natasha Leggero
“Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.”—George Bernard Shaw
“Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” - Kathy Mohnke
"Before we got married I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets." - Joginder Singh
"Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning." — Clint Eastwood,
Go to BabaMail
