“Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.” — Marilyn Monroe
"After about 15 years I finally figured out that she's always right. So surprisingly we just stopped fighting after that." —Barack Obama
“Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit.”- Billy Connolly
"Because I always say, if you're married for 50 years, and 10 of them are horrible, you're doing really good!" —Michelle Obama
“Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” - Jenny Seinfeld
“She is the only evidence of God I have seen, with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.”- St Elmo's Fire
“Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.”—Elbert Hubbard
“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should just live next door and visit now and then.”—Katherine Hepburn
“Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” - Natasha Leggero
“Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what’s more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?”—Dennis Miller
“I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.” - Wendy Liebman
"Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning." — Clint Eastwood,
“My wife is a psychologist… Not only does she know when I’m being a jerk, but she knows exactly what type of jerk I’m being.”—Lee Judge
"For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end." — Catherine Zeta-Jones
“I married for love but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored.”—Cameron Esposito
“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?”—Jean Illsley Clarke
“If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman: she will be all ears.” - Sigmund Freud
“Husbands and wives are irritating. But without them, who would we blame for misplacing our socks?”—Janet Periat
“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.” —Rod Stewart
“Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were on your own.”—Eddie Cantor
“Just found out the wife is writing a book about our honeymoon, called ’50 Shades of Just O.K.’”—Conan O’Brien
"Being a good husband is like being a standup comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner." — Jerry Seinfeld
“I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed, too—for being married so many times.” —Elizabeth Taylor
"A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." — Andre Maurois
"A good marriage is where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal." - Anonymous
“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now change your Facebook status.”—Anonymous
“If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.” - Miles Davis
“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?”—Groucho Marx
“Only married people can understand how you can be miserable and happy at the same time." —Chris Rock
“Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.” —H. Jackson Brown, Jr
“All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.” — Red Skelton
"Before we got married I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets." - Joginder Singh
“Some mornings I wake up grouchy. Other mornings I just let him sleep.”—Unknown
“Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.”—George Bernard Shaw
"I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?" - Jean Illsely Clarke
"You are a smart cookie. A wise chocolate cake. A brilliant pancake.” - Rey Woodman
“All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” — Raymond Hull
“An archeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”—Agatha Christie.
“Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.” — Isadora Duncan
“When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.”—Richard Lewis
“Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you’ll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.”
— Neil Simon
“A good friend just told me that the key to a successful marriage was to argue naked! I’m gonna do that from now on, when that rarely happens.”
— LeAnn Rimes
“If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.” —Aldo Cammarota
"Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park." - Anonymous
“Marriage is work. Marriage is a career. It's not an adventure, you do more before five than most folks do all day.”— Sinbad
“The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.’”—Anonymous
“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.” — Cher
“My husband and I have never considered divorce… murder sometimes, but never divorce.”—Dr. Joyce Brothers
"Everyone is born equal in life, until they get married." — Anonymous
"Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended." - Zsa Zsa Gabor
Go to BabaMail
