"The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby."
- Natalie Wood.
"Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses."
- Thomas Dewar
"They say true love hides in every corner. I must be walking in circles." - Unknown
"When a man of forty falls in love with a woman of twenty, it isn’t her youth he is seeking but his own." — Lenore Coffee
"I was on a date with this really hot model. Well, it wasn’t really a date-date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed." — Dave Attell
“Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women; a little bit of support and a little bit of freedom.” - Jerry Seinfeld
“It’s the 21st century. I don’t need an alpha male to protect me. I don’t need a big, strong man to fight off a tiger. I need a geek who can get my naked photos off the cloud.” — Whitney Cummings
"Love is a two-way street constantly under construction."
- Carroll Bryant.
"My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan." — Leopold Fetchner
"People should fall in love with their eyes closed."
- Andy Warhol
"You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you’re married to a couch that burps." - Roseanne Barr
"When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life."
- Richard Lewis
"Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them."
- Bill Maher
"Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight." – Phyllis Diller
“The secret to a long marriage is to stay gone.” - Dolly Parton
"Oh, here's an idea: Let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day. That's not weird at all." - Jimmy Fallon
"A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." — Cher
"The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman." — Samuel Taylor Coleridge
"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." — Albert Einstein
“I love you and I treasure you and ya bore me.” - Amy Santiago, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'
"Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me, but then I remember I put up with you, so we're even." - Unknown
"The bravest thing that men do is love women." — Mort Sahl
"It wasn't love at first sight. It took a full five minutes." Lucille Ball