"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
“I have to excercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."- Marsha Doble.
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
"A hospital is no place to be sick." —Samuel Goldwyn
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
"I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back." - Richard Lewis
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
"I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there."
- Jim Gaffigan
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."
- Christiaan Barnard
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." —Woody Allen
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
"You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out.'"
- Jim Gaffigan.
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
"If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?"
- Dave Attell
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown