"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
"A hospital is no place to be sick." —Samuel Goldwyn
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
"Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge"- Don Kardong
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory"- Albert Schweitzer
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
“I have to excercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."- Marsha Doble.
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
“Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.”
Tom Waits
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
"The best abs exercise is five sets of stop eating so much..."
– Lazar Angelov
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
“I like long walks especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Fred Allen
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
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