“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
"Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge"- Don Kardong
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back"- Franklin P. Jones
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness." - Aldous Huxley
"I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back." - Richard Lewis
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
“I have removed all the bad food from my house, it was delicious.”
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
"Eating words has never given me indigestion." —Winston Churchill
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
"You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out.'"
- Jim Gaffigan.
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
“I tried every diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.”
Tom Waits
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
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