"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there."
- Jim Gaffigan
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
"If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most."
- Jason Love.
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." —Woody Allen
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"If your doctor's last name is Google, it's time to get a second opinion…" - Toni Bernhard, J.D.
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
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"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."
- Christiaan Barnard
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me"- Fred Allen.
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
“I have to excercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."- Marsha Doble.
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back"- Franklin P. Jones
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"Eating words has never given me indigestion." —Winston Churchill
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille