"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back"- Franklin P. Jones
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge"- Don Kardong
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Tomlin
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
"If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most."
- Jason Love.
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me"- Fred Allen.
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
"The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'" - Rita Rudner
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits." - Author unknown
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." —Woody Allen
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
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