"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
"If your doctor's last name is Google, it's time to get a second opinion…" - Toni Bernhard, J.D.
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
“I like long walks especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Fred Allen
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
"Warning... I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake... which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore, so proceed with caution!"
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back"- Franklin P. Jones
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."
- Christiaan Barnard
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
“I have removed all the bad food from my house, it was delicious.”
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Tomlin
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
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