“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back"- Franklin P. Jones
"The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'" - Rita Rudner
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
“I tried every diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton
"If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most."
- Jason Love.
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
"If your doctor's last name is Google, it's time to get a second opinion…" - Toni Bernhard, J.D.
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."
- Christiaan Barnard
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
“Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.”
Tom Waits
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness." - Aldous Huxley
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
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"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
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