"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Tomlin
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."
- Christiaan Barnard
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
"Eating words has never given me indigestion." —Winston Churchill
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory"- Albert Schweitzer
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back"- Franklin P. Jones
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." —Woody Allen
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most."
- Jason Love.
"You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out.'"
- Jim Gaffigan.
"If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?"
- Dave Attell
“I tried every diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
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