"A hospital is no place to be sick." —Samuel Goldwyn
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
"If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?"
- Dave Attell
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me"- Fred Allen.
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"Warning... I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake... which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore, so proceed with caution!"
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back"- Franklin P. Jones
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most."
- Jason Love.
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
"The best abs exercise is five sets of stop eating so much..."
– Lazar Angelov
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
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"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
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