“I realized my family was funny because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.”
- Anthony Anderson
“Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.”—Pam Brown
“To a small child, the perfect grandad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo”.—Robert Breault
“Mother-daughter disagreements were, in hindsight, basically mother stating the truth and daughter taking her own sweet time coming around.”—Barbara Delinsky
"The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended and not to take a hint when a hint isn’t intended.”
- Robert Fros
“The best babysitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.”—Dave Barry
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
“If you don’t annoy your big sister for no good reason from time to time, she thinks you don’t love her anymore.”—Pearl Cleage
“If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck.”
- Jeff Foxworthy.
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”
- Wayne H
“I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.”—Fred Allen
“Everyone knows that if you’ve got a brother, you’re going to fight.”—Liam Gallagher
“Teach your kids to spend more time annoying each other so they have less time to spend annoying you.”—Unknown
“The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.”
- Nancy Mitford
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”—George Bernard Shaw
"Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet with a few nuts." - Unknown
“What brothers say to tease their sisters has nothing to do with what they really think of them.”—Esther Friesner
“My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film.”
- Penelope Lombard.
“From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.”
- Jarod Kintz
“As I learned from growing up, you don’t mess with your grandmother.”—Prince William
“Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet.”—Gene Perret
“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”—Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
“Every family is dysfunctional, whether you want to admit it or not.”
- Shailene Woodley.
“It’s especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.”—Sean Covey, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens
“A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.”—Lois Wyse
“My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.”—Spike Milligan
“Older siblings: the only people who will pick on you for their own entertainment and beat up anyone else who tries.”—Unknown
“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.”
- Sam Levenson
“If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that “Members not Present” and “Subjects Discussed” were one and the same.”
- Robert Brault
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.”
- George Bernard Shaw
“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern…like bad wallpaper.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche.
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