“Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach.”
- Moby.
“Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.”
- Franklin P. Jones.
“No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.”
- Kin Hubbard.
“Saw a chameleon today so I'm assuming it wasn't a very good one." - Unknown Author
“The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man, it is to know that and to wonder at it.”
- Jacques Yves Cousteau.
“Three rebels against the light: the thief, the adulterer, and the bat.”
- Hebrew Proverb.
“Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.”
- Mary Bly.
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”
- Charles De Gaulle.
“My relationships with my cats have saved me from a deadly, pervasive ignorance.”
- William S. Burroughs.
“God in his wisdom made the fly, And then forgot to tell us why.”
- Ogden Nash.
“In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”
- Terry Pratchett.
“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?”
Jerry Seinfeld
“When an 85-pound mammal licks your tears away, then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad.”—Kristan Higgins
“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts.”
- John Steinbeck.
“What does a snail say when he rides on the back of a turtle?
“Whee!”
- Will Durst
“If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.”
- Mark Twain.
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’”—Dave Barry
“Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.”
- Franklin P. Jones.
“If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warm.”
- Alfred North Whitehead.
“Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.”
- Adam Smith.
“Some of our greatest historical and artistic treasures we place with curators in museums; others we take for walks.”—Roger Caras
“When gorillas are sleeping, you can hide a bunch of raisins in their fur, and then they’ll have an exciting treat the next day."
- Guy Endore Kaiser
“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?”
- Jerry Seinfeld.
“Perhaps one reason we are fascinated by cats is because such a small animal can contain so much independence, dignity, and freedom of spirit. Unlike the dog, the cat’s personality is never bet on a human’s. He demands acceptance on his own terms.”
- Lloyd Alexander.
“Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it.”
- Buddy Hackett.
“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
- Fran Lebowitz
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
Sigmund Freud
“Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal.”
- Eddie Izzard.
“The best thing about animals is that they don’t talk much.”
- Thornton Wilder.
“Always respect Mother Nature. Especially when she weighs 400 pounds and is guarding her baby.”
- James Rollins.
“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.”
- Phil Pastoret.
“Lots of people talk to animals... Not very many listen though... that's the problem.”
― A.A. Milne.
“All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it.”
- Samuel Butler..
“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
Winston Churchill
“Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.”
- Colette.
“A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.”—Helen Thomson
“A hen is just an egg’s way of making another egg.”
- Weird Science.
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“I admit opening an alligator petting zoo was not the best idea, but I told the kids to be careful so there’s plenty of blame to go around.”
- John Lyon.
“There’s no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat.”
- Wesley Bates.
“If I could be half the person my dog is, I’d be twice the human I am.”—Charles Yu
“It’s just the most amazing thing to love a dog, isn’t it? It makes our relationships with people seem as boring as a bowl of oatmeal.”—John Grogan
“My dog is a half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip!”
- Craig Shoemaker.
“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” —Robert Benchley
“You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish.
- Jerry Seinfeld"
“Size isn’t everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.”
- Bill Vaughan.
“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.”—Rodney Dangerfield
"Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen."
- John Steinbeck.
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