“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“Some of our greatest historical and artistic treasures we place with curators in museums; others we take for walks.”—Roger Caras
“I find that ducks’ opinion of me is greatly influenced by whether I have bread."
- Mitch Hedberg
“Animals may be our friends, but they won’t pick you up at the airport."
- Bobcat Goldthwait
“A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well—almost.”—Charlotte Gray
“Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” —Jeff Valdez
“If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman’s pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.”
George Bernard Shaw
“Three rebels against the light: the thief, the adulterer, and the bat.”
- Hebrew Proverb.
"Dogs never bite me. Just humans."
- Marilyn Monroe
“Always remember, a cat looks down on man, a dog looks up to man, but a pig will look man right in the eye and see his equal.”
- Sir Winston Churchill.
“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” —Robert Benchley
“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts.”
- John Steinbeck.
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”
- Andy Rooney.
“Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach.”
- Moby.
“The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree." - Steven Alexander Wright
“A hen is just an egg’s way of making another egg.”
- Weird Science.
“The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He’s got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.”
- Jeff Foxworthy.
“The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.”
- Ambrose Bierce.