“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts.”
- John Steinbeck.
“In LA we get coyotes in our garbage cans. Coyotes are just like my relatives. They go out in pairs, they whine at night, and they go anywhere there’s food."
- Billy Crystal
“A hen is just an egg’s way of making another egg.”
- Weird Science.
“Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” —Jeff Valdez
“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?”
- Jerry Seinfeld.
“I find that ducks’ opinion of me is greatly influenced by whether I have bread."
- Mitch Hedberg
“Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help."
- Alex Haley
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
Groucho Marx
“The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother—and they will settle for a puppy every time.”—Winston Pendelton
“Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all.”—John Grogan
“My friend was attacked by a duck. I yelled “duck!” to warn him, but it just made it worse.”
- Kelkulus.
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
- Sigmund Freud
“Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.”
- Franklin P. Jones.
“We’ve all done this because we’re so mature. You see a cow on the side of the road, stick your head out the window and go, “Mooooo!” Like we expect the cow to think, “Hey, there’s another cow, driving that car! How can he afford that?”
- Garry Shandling.
"Dogs never bite me. Just humans."
- Marilyn Monroe
“All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it.”
- Samuel Butler..
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
- Groucho Marx.
“A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution.”
- Hazel Nicholson.
“Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.”
- Colette.
“After scolding one’s cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference.”
- Charlotte Gray.
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”
- Andy Rooney.
“Some of our greatest historical and artistic treasures we place with curators in museums; others we take for walks.”—Roger Caras
“Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach.”
- Moby.
“If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one.” —Andrew A. Rooney
“Never break a promise to an animal. They're like babies—they won't understand.”
― Tamora Pierc
“The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree." - Steven Alexander Wright
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man, it is to know that and to wonder at it.”
- Jacques Yves Cousteau.
“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
Winston Churchill
“When gorillas are sleeping, you can hide a bunch of raisins in their fur, and then they’ll have an exciting treat the next day."
- Guy Endore Kaiser
“Perhaps one reason we are fascinated by cats is because such a small animal can contain so much independence, dignity, and freedom of spirit. Unlike the dog, the cat’s personality is never bet on a human’s. He demands acceptance on his own terms.”
- Lloyd Alexander.
“Beaver do better work than the Corps of Engineers.”
- Mike Todd.
“Animals may be our friends, but they won’t pick you up at the airport."
- Bobcat Goldthwait
“A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk.”—Orlando Aloysius Battista
“A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.”—Helen Thomson
“My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.” ~ Unknown
“God in his wisdom made the fly, And then forgot to tell us why.”
- Ogden Nash.
“What does a snail say when he rides on the back of a turtle?
“Whee!”
- Will Durst
“As wonderful as dogs can be, they are famous for missing the point.”—Jean Ferris
“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”
- Charles De Gaulle.
“The household cat is really a tiger that has underwent three counselling programs.”
- Valeriu Butulescu.
“You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish.
- Jerry Seinfeld"
“Always respect Mother Nature. Especially when she weighs 400 pounds and is guarding her baby.”
- James Rollins.
"Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen."
- John Steinbeck.
“My relationships with my cats have saved me from a deadly, pervasive ignorance.”
- William S. Burroughs.
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.”—Rodney Dangerfield
“When an 85-pound mammal licks your tears away, then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad.”—Kristan Higgins
“My fashion philosophy is if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.”
- Elayne Boosler.
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