"It is better to wear out than to rust out." - Bishop Richard Cumberland
"Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers
"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile." - George Burns
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers
"Gray hair is God’s graffiti." – Bill Cosby
"Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast." - Anonymous
""Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." - Larry Lorenzoni
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
“When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day.” – Marty Buccella
"Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once." - Dave Barry
"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. - Mark Twain
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
“The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary on it.” – Arthur Schopenhauer
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
“You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.” —Billy Arthur
"As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer." - Robert Quillen"
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings
"There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it." - Patrick Moore
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." - Oscar Wilde
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” - George Burns
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself." - Anonymous
"I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet." - Rita Rudner
"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci
"There is still no cure for the common birthday." - John Glenn
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." – Bob Hope
"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." - Truman Capote
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins
"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzon
"In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order." - Robert Brault
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen
“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen." - Mark Twain
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner
"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus, he does not believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus." - Bob Phillips
"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker
"Today, you’re 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!" - Dave Barry"
"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
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