"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra